As the mum of a big baby, there are a lot of cliché things I have heard and experienced over the past 18 months. I can almost predict what a stranger is going to ask me or comment on before they even say it!
Here are 10 things you can predict will happen when you’re the mum of a big baby:
1. The reaction when you reveal the birth weight
When you mention how big your baby was at birth, there’s always an audible gasp, followed by a (not so) subtle glance at your vagina and you know they just want to give you a high five. That “joke” entry on the “guess the weight of the baby” board from your baby shower isn’t much of a joke now!
2. People don’t believe that you’re exclusively breastfeeding
It is generally assumed that you MUST be topping up with forumla because you couldn’t possibly sustain a baby that big on breastmilk alone. Erm, nope, boobs are magic things and generally produce the right amount of milk for your baby. Yes he might be feeding All. The. Time….but smaller babies do as well, that’s the nature of a breastfed baby! Your boobs will also be HUGE to accommodate all that milk…
3. People always get their age wrong
Stranger: “How old is he, about 6 months?”
Me: “Erm, no he’s 10 weeks old.”
*silence as said person processes this information*
Stranger: “Wow, he’s big for his age isn’t he, are you sure he’s only 10 weeks?”
Pretty sure I remember when I gave birth to my baby, yes. Then you tell them how big he was when he was born and wait for their reaction (see Point 1).
4. Having to pack up all the newborn clothes without them being used
Most newborn clothes fit “up to 10lbs” and your baby was more than that at birth, so there is likely a ton of clothes that you didn’t even get to dress the baby in! And any stuff which has been bought for you in a bigger size is likely to be in the wrong season as no-one could predict how big your baby was going to be.
5. Every time your baby is picked up by someone who hasn’t held him in a while, the conversation is the same
“Wow he’s heavy, how is your back not broken?!”
You then recite the same old line – “Well, I’m used to carrying him so I don’t really notice it anymore” which is a complete lie, he’s actually slowing destroying all your back strength….
6. Being told your baby will “slim down” once he starts walking
Almost 6 months of walking and I’m still waiting for him to “slim down”. But it’s fine, at least he has a lot of padding to protect him whilst he’s finding his feet!
7. You won’t be able to buy clothes in the sales
Your baby has already been at least 3 months ahead of his age in baby clothes, but as they get into bigger sizes, you don’t know when he’s going to hit the next size up so you can’t buy anything too far in advance if it’s seasonal. You’re still waiting for him to slim down (See point 6.) You also won’t be able to put bow ties on your baby boy because it will get lost in his double chin (sob).
8. People will judge your child for not hitting their milestones
Your child may look 18 months old, but they’re 10 months old so you know it’s not unusual for them to not be walking yet. But this doesn’t stop strangers from judging them because they think they are behind developmentally. This is probably the hardest one I’ve had to deal with, even though I shouldn’t really care what people think.
9. Buying a car seat is a nightmare!
Like buying clothes, it’s difficult to predict how big your baby is going to be. They may be following their “percentile” line, but when you go into a shop at 6 months because your baby has outgrown their car seat, you may find the salesperson giving you a lecture on moving your baby out of their infant carrier too early (even though they are too heavy or too tall for it so actually it’s unsafe!).
10. Finally, being told this helpful “fun fact”:
“You do know they say second babies are bigger than the first, don’t you?”
Yeah, thanks for that, just what I want to hear when my first baby was over 10lbs….
But personally I think there’s nothing cuter than a baby with a roll or two (or twenty…)
So, Mums of big babies, how many of these have you heard? Are there any more typical comments you heard after producing a mammoth sized baby? Do mums of smaller babies get similar comments at the opposite end of the scale? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
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