Deciding to have a baby is not a decision to take lightly. I’ve always been a broody person, and even more so since my two beautiful nephews and niece were born, but it’s taken a long time for us to make the decision that we were ready to start trying for a baby.
My husband Craig and I have been together for 8 and a half years, and married for 2 and a half years. As we got together so young, we never really had a discussion about marriage and babies when we first started dating, but we both knew it was something we would want in the future. Five years flew by, and in that time we moved in together, got engaged and started planning our wedding. Babies were very far from our minds at this point, and even when we got married we still knew we weren’t ready to start trying for kids (even though I would go gooey at the mere sight of a cute baby!)
Of course, being newlyweds who had been together for a long time, we started being questioned about when we would have babies. We were only renting at the time and wanted to save for a house deposit to buy our own place, as well as enjoy our money a little as we’d worked hard to save to pay for our wedding over the previous two years. But we felt a lot of pressure from other people to have a baby. I think being a woman I felt this pressure more than hubby. He was insisting he wasn’t ready for a baby until we were at least 30! I knew I couldn’t wait that long, but also knew that Craig would eventually come round. It didn’t take that long.
My nephew was born in March 2014 (on my birthday, the lucky baby!) and it was then that Craig started to come round to the idea of us trying for our own baby. He was absolutely smitten, and was a lot more willing to babysit than he was with our other nephew and niece! We were still saving for our house deposit, and as we were renting at the same time, the process was happening slowly. We started to discuss the possibility of trying for a baby anyway, as we didn’t know how long it would take for us to conceive.
The decision to start trying for a baby wasn’t a quick one. It took us a good few months to weigh up our options – should we wait until we had the money for our house deposit, should we wait until we had bought a house, should we wait until after so and so’s wedding (we had a lot of weddings coming up that would be slightly more inconvenient with a baby!). There was a lot to take into account, and of course, trying for a baby is not an easy thing. We didn’t know how long it would take for us to conceive, and if we put the decision on hold, we could actually be 30 before we had our baby, but if we started trying straight away and conceived immediately, we wouldn’t have our own house and it would be even harder for us to save.
After much to-ing and fro-ing, in June 2014 we decided to stop using protection and just see what would happen. Of course we still had people asking when we were going to start trying for a baby, as we hadn’t told anyone about our decision, but we got used to trotting out the “saving for a house” reason of when we would start trying.
This was an exciting, but nervous time for us. I think I thought about it a lot more than Craig, because I was constantly looking for signs of pregnancy. It was lovely having this little secret though between the two of us.
Now all we had to do was wait….