48 Comments

  1. I am a full time working mum too and always knew I would be going back full time. Hubby earns more than I do but me working full time is still good enough to justify sending our little monkey to nursery full time too. I feel guilty all the time, but he loves nursery! It is just about finding out what works best for each family. People are so quick to judge these days! #bestandworst
    Busy Working Mummy recently posted…Going home for the weekendMy Profile

  2. It was the hardest thing to do- even as a teacher with breaks and summers off and when I went part time I struggled terribly. Now I am home with the twin toddlers or terror- would not mind a day or two at the old office!

    Grass if always greener right?

    #bestandworst

  3. I hated going back to work after I had Lily. Even now (and she is seven!) I struggle with how much working full time affects our time together and feel as though I miss out on so much! xx

  4. I’ve just handed my notice in at work as we couldn’t afford childcare, we’d be worse off for me going back to work! I really didn’t want to go back to work anyway though, as I really wasn’t happy there, so all worked out for the best really.

  5. Great post – I can relate with a lot of what you’re saying. I’m the higher earner and looked at going back full time but have managed to get away with part time for now. Our income has nearly halved! Even with part time I still have those same feelings of leaving my child EVEN THOUGH nursery is far more entertaining for him. I think you’re right, work all the hours now and then when he’s older, you can decide again. Parents have it tough and you’re completely right to admit that, it’s got to be what fits you as a family best for now and sometimes that means hard decisions. Oh and that rubbish about not being a mother is just an uneducated comment, you’re showing your baby that you have to work hard for things and putting your family needs above your own personal ones… that’s just as important!
    Devon Mama recently posted…Review: Messy Me Highchair InsertMy Profile

  6. Interesting post. I often wonder if I am the only mum who is choosing to go back full time. Like you, we need the money my job brings to (hopefully) purchase a house. I’m dreading going back and even though you haven’t found it to be ‘easy’ I’ve appreciated reading this honest post. I know it will be crap but I also know it will be worth it to get the house.

  7. Ugh! Isn’t it lovely when non-parents get on their soap box about their mom friends and how we’re doing everything wrong??? You are NOT emotionally messing up your beautiful Alfie! Of course a mother can work and be a “real mother!”

    We are friends with a wonderful family where the dad stays home and the mom works, and it’s for the same reasons you described. The mom makes more money. Their children are now 5 and 9. They are super invested in their lives, their education, their social and emotional well-being. Their kids are doing GREAT! Yours will too!

  8. Im sure this post will help a lot of mothers who feel similar or are about to go back to work. I don’t think of mothers any less if they do have to work full time as everyones situations are different and its a shame others cant understand that before they judge xx

  9. I’m still so unsure what to do, whether to go back to work at all after maternity leave. I work part time 20 hours a week but having the three kids it means I would not have a break, at all between 7am and 3.30pm, which is a long time… I don’t know, I’m hoping to figure it out within the next few months! x
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  10. I went back to work really early on after Lily was born – I suffered from depression and anxiety and it made me desperate to get out of the house tbh. I wish I could go back and get the help I needed rather than throw myself back into work. If I ever get to have another baby I’ll be making the most of my maternity leave for sure 🙂 xxx

    • I guess for you though work was what you needed at that time to help you? I’m glad I did take my full maternity leave as it helped with the knowledge I would be going back full time, but didn’t make it much easier. Thanks for your comment x

  11. I found it soooo hard 5 years ago after I had my older son – I missed him so much, was worried about how nursery staff treated him when he was upset etc. etc. But in the end, I accepted that there was no other choice for us as we wouldn’t have coped financially on one income and going back to work gave us more opportunities. What also helped was agreeing flexible arrangements with work and I managed to keep full time pay but condense my hours into 4 days so that I could have 3 days at home – it made such a difference! I’m currently on mat leave with our second boy and I’m due to return to work in June. Funnily enough, I think I’m finding it harder now as I really want to be there for my boys every day but circumstances don’t allow us for me to lose my pay. I’m planning to start up my own business though and work from home so that may enable me to have the best of both worlds. For now, I just need to accept the reality. x

    • I’d love to do condensed hours – that is the dream when I have baby no.2. I’m so pleased to know it’s not just me who feels like way though. Good luck with your business, I hope it is a success and allows you to spend more time with your boys x

  12. I took 14 months off with my first but this time I’m going to be lucky to take 9 months. I really struggled with anxiety about going back to work the first time and I’m starting to feel it anxious as it’s edging closer again!

    • I really hope I can still take my full year with my second, I would feel even worse going back full time second time round if I hadn’t had my full year off. I hope you can try to ease your anxiety somehow, and feel better about having to go back when you do – but for now just enjoy the rest of your mat leave!

  13. I feel the same way. I’ve been back to work for a little over six months, and it is still really hard. I used to be highly motivated at work, and now my motivation is at home and work is taking me away from that. I have to justify it to myself all the time. #coolmumclub

  14. Thanks for sharing this. I’m not due back at work for a few more months, but I’ve started thinking about it a lot with a mixture of excitement and massive apprehension. Posts like this are so useful because they are honest! #coolmumclub

    • Thank you for your comment – my feeling about work have really changed since returning, and not always in a good way, but I do try to make the best of a bad situation. I hope it turns out better for you, but if it doesn’t, it really does help to be honest about it.

  15. I’m in talks with work about hopefully getting part-time hours, but it’s still up in the air. I’m so dreading any return though as I know I’ll feel the same as you so now – but you’re right, if we have to, we have to. #coolmumclub

  16. This is an incredibly open and honest post about all the feelings involved in being a working Mum. I really try not to fall into the trap of judging any other Mums parenting decisions – who are we to do that?
    I always try to take the stance that there are no easy options – working, being at home, or part time. It’s just a case of working out what works for you. You have your families best interests at heart.
    Thank you for sharing with #coolmumclub – many other working Mums will love this post.
    MMT recently posted…#coolmumclub Linky week 61My Profile

    • Thank you – there definitely is no easy option, and what works for one family won’t work for others. I might feel happier with my situation if I didn’t feel that judgement sometimes though, it can be very unfair and uncalled for! Thanks for hosting!

  17. I remember feeling so bad going back to work after having Daisy! But it was the right thing to do! Great post and I’m sure it will help others that are going back to work x

  18. Hannah

    Great post. It is such a scary feeling making the decision to stay or go back to work and oftem an unavoidable one.
    Your photo of you on your last day really gave me the feels. So hard ❤

  19. This is such a well written post and so honest. I never think it gets any easier being away from your children, but all we have to remember is we are doing the best for them, ourselves and our family as a whole. Some people are so quick to judge without knowing a single detail and reasoning behind someone’s choice.

    • Ah, thank you very much, it means a lot! You are right, I know deep down I am only doing what I have to, and that things will change in the future. I definitely find non-parents can be more judgy and have to stop myself saying “just you wait!”

  20. I’ve been very lucky to be able to not have to go back to work (first time I got pregnant whilst on maternity leave, second I had 2 under 2 and PND, didn’t stand a chance in working too!)
    I can’t imagine how hard it must be, I definitely take being a SAHM for granted sometimes x

    • Sorry to hear that your not working was kind of a forced thing, I know that for some people being able to work is a big thing and for some being a SAHM is a big thing – I hope you are happy with what you do though!

  21. I just started writing a comment but had so much to say it became a post of its own! So I thought I would start again and just say I’m not sure working full time ever gets any easier, especially if you’re desire is to be at home more. I guess you just have to focus on the reasons you’re working. I managed to convince my employer to let me work full time in 4 days. It meant 4 pretty long days but that one extra day at home made it totally worth it! #coolmumclub

    • Ha, I would have loved to read what you had written – maybe an idea for a blog post for you! Thank you for your comment though, I agree that I don’t see how it will get easier until something changes. We are buying a house this year and then hopefully will have baby no.2 next year, which I hope means we can start making some changes after that! 4 long days would work so much better for me, it’s definitely something I’d like to suggest to my bosses eventually.

  22. I really feel for any mum who has to go back to work, it must be so hard, I know I would dread and hate every moment of it. I did go back to work but being self employed at working from home it never really felt like I was away, if it wasn’t for my husband being in the military I would have to get a full time job and would be in the same position as you and many others. You’re really strong and I admire you for opening up about how you feel, I’m sure it’ll be a great help to others.

  23. It sounds like it’s been a rollercoaster since you went back. But well done you for being honest about it and not pretending. I am fortunate enough to only work part time but I know I would feel like you do if I had to work full time. It’s tough finding a balance. I think there will always be ups and downs, even if your child is happy. But you’re doing the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt. Your little boy will know he’s loved and cared for, regardless of when or where you work. That’s the main thing.

    Oh and those women on the train really don’t help the equality cause do they?! I have a lot of respect for full time dads. #CoolMumClub
    Angela Watling recently posted…A decade of blogging…. My Profile

  24. I work three days when I’m back and find that hard sometimes. Never enough hours in the day. It must have even harder working full time. I like this post as it’s open and honest and just as it is. I hope one day you enjoy it more but glad you are managing. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx

    • Definitely never enough hours in the day! I really do feel better for being honest and not pretending that it’s all ok when it’s not really, it’s just bearable. I hope one day it will get better though. Thanks for hosting!

  25. I work from home full-time and have a 1 year old. I found it really hard getting back in to working after maternity leave, it is hard being home with everything overlapping. We all do what we have to do to get by. I could go without working financially thanks to my husband but 1. I don’t want to rely on him all the time. 2. I enjoy my work and 3. I want my daughter to see me working.

    Take care x
    Katy Stevens recently posted…When to repair and when to replace your carMy Profile

    • I agree with all your reasons for working – I definitely want to show my son that you have to work for what you want to achieve and that you can’t have everything handed to you on a plate, but for me I don’t have the right balance at the moment. I am hoping that I can figure that out soon! Thanks for your comment.

  26. Oh I’m so sorry to hear that you’re finding it so hard. It’s horrible when you feel forced into a situation, and it’s not really how you want it.

    I think all mums worry what everyone else is thinking about them – you say you worry people judge you for working full time, well I’m a SAHM and I worry that people judge me for being “lazy” at home. It’s easier said than done, but we need to try not to worry what others are thinking / saying – you know that this is what’s best for your family right now and so you’re doing it. That should be commended – you’re doing it even though you’re finding it hard.

    I hope things work out soon.

    P.S. Congratulations because someone loved this post enough to add it to the #blogcrush linky!
    Lucy At Home recently posted…We’ve Been Given The Blogger Recognition Award!My Profile

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