21 Comments

  1. This is such a lovely positive post and you are so wonderful for writing it as a message to let others know that it can be OK. You were so fortunate with friends having babies at a similar time – it must be so hard if you don’t have this which obviously lots of women go through. I think the getting out everyday and the joining baby groups is invaluable – and I guess persevering as these groups take a while to make friends at. The Facebook groups sound like a great idea too – you’re full of fab advice!! #BloggerClubUK

    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment – I was nervous about posting this and coming across as smug because I didn’t feel what many mums do feel. But my aim was to share that it can be ok and not everyone will go through the same emotions as everyone else, whilst still recognising that many mums do feel isolated and are not as lucky as me to have the support system I do. Thanks for reading x

  2. Katy Stevens

    I found the first months very lonely and I’ve got a very positive outlook on life too.

    However, when the baby classes I tried weren’t for me I started taking my daughter swimming. Getting out everyday and now my daughter is 8 months old I never feel lonely.

    I think it is partly mind over matter and partly the people around you. The ones that bothered at the beginning for us pretty much stopped a few months in, sounds like you had the opposite. I decided not to let it bother me and to carve a new life for my little family. We go out regularly, take part in activities and i no longer worry about not knowing many other mums.

    For those people who do feel lonely I want them to know it does get better. Try and make the effort to get out everyday, even if just for a walk.

    Great post x

    • It’s funny how different people react to different situations isn’t it. I have heard a lot of people say baby groups weren’t for them, whereas I loved them! I’m glad you found something that worked for you though and that things did get better. It’s a really positive message for those mums who do feel lonely and don’t know how to change that. I think as you become more experienced at motherhood, you worry a bit less as well and that can help with getting out and about not feeling as lonely. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment x

  3. Cathryn

    I have absolutely loved every moment of being a Mum and like you I’m pretty happy and chilled most days. But some days I do feel lonely. The only conversation I get is half an hour in the morning until half past five when my husband gets back from work. I’m pretty lucky I go to a baby group and have lots of friends with babies but sometimes when everyone’s busy and I have no plans I do feel a little bit on my own.

    #BloggerClubUK

    • I think I am quite lucky that I actually relish the days I can sit at home on my own – I’ve always been quite comfortable in my own company (I think coming from a big family, I hardly got time on my own so now I appreciate it when I do!) But I totally get the days when you can go all day with no adult conversation can drive you a little bit potty. I have some amazing friends, who I definitely appreciate just that little bit more after writing this post and reading some of your comments. Thanks for reading x

  4. Glad to hear that having a baby and learning to live with a baby has been so natural and easy for you (or at least as much as it can be). My sister-in-law has had the same experience, but I’ve heard horror stories from my parent’s friends. Luckily, I don’t know anyone who is currently going through a rough situation. I haven’t had a baby yet, but I hope if and when I do, it comes as easily and naturally as you describe with lots of support and help as needed. Adding a baby really changes things – mostly for the best, but, as I understand, there are definitely some adjustments that must be made. 🙂

    • It is interesting hearing other people’s views – I have definitely heard more people say they struggled and felt lonely than not, so I really think there is a problem. But I guess we then have to try and find a way to tackle this lonliness problem – it does make me feel very sad to know that people feel like this. Thanks for reading.

  5. Not a mom obviously, but my wife and I work alternating shifts so that one of us could always be with the little. Right from the start I was determined that I would go about my normal life and just bring her along. I can definitely see how easy it would be for people to feel its too much trouble and simply hibernate at home, but that seems unhealthy to me #bestandworst

    • Sorry, I should have said “Is Parenthood Lonely” as dad’s can get lonely too!! I was the same as you – Alfie slotted into our lives and we were determined to pretty much do what we did before (hence our no routine option as I wrote about a few weeks ago). I know sometimes it can be hard to get out and about and carry on as normal, and of course everyone is different, but both Alfie and I would get cabin fever if we stayed in for longer than a day! Thanks so much for reading.

    • Oh yes definitely, I think it has just struck me how many people actually do feel like this – as it’s not something I’ve experienced, I find it quite sad that others go through this. Makes me just want to give you all a hug! Thanks for reading x

  6. I’m one of those mums who finds motherhood lonely but to be honest I’m not so sure it’s motherhood that makes me lonely or whether it’s just me in general. I don’t make friends easily as I lack self confidence so I have a very small handful of friends and only two that I see regularly. I do go to toddler groups but to be honest I hate them. I always feel so uncomfortable and only go for my daughters benefit. I envy those who have weekly play dates and can just pick up new friends at the school gates. I wish I was one of those mums but I’m not and yes it can be lonely at times. My son has additional needs and I have to say the friendliest people I have met have been through coffee mornings that I have gone to to find support and advice. I guess because I know people there aren’t judging me and so that’s where I feel more in my comfort zone. I still wouldn’t call any of them proper friends though but then I haven’t been that often. I really should try and get to more of them but it’s difficult when I also have my youngest and no one to look after her.

    #bloggerclubuk
    Janine (Unhinged Mummy) recently posted…Needing ClarificationMy Profile

  7. Like you, I have loved motherhood and have found it a really positive experience. Yes, there are tough days, definitely, and it can feel like you are alone sometimes but I keep a really busy diary and I think reading blogs helps people to realise there are plenty of others going through a similar situation. I have a better social life (certainly during the day) than I used to and baby classes and making friends with people who have children the same age is really important. #bloggerclubuk

  8. A very positive post and it’s great you’ve shared your amazing experience of motherhood so far. I must admit I do find motherhood really lonely sometimes and often find myself counting down the hours u till hubby gets home. We moved away from friends last year and since then I’ve struggles to really connect with anyone in our new town. I’ve just had my second baby and I’m trying to get out every day still, it’s hard with the 2 of them but I would go crazy cooped up in the house all day.xx#bestandworst

  9. I’m the same as you hun. I do have days when I miss adult company but lonely? No. You need to get out and about; a walk if you prefer you own company or groups/see friends. Now I have a baby and a toddler we have plans most days to keep us all sane. I think some struggle if low confidence or PND which can make it really hard. Like you I feel lucky and pleased to enjoy it most of the time. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  10. Glad it was a positive time for you. I think you can still be a really positive person but still struggle. Sometimes the people who are the bubbliest ‘out there’ people are actually the ones who are suffering the most.

  11. Good on you for sharing a positive angle. I, like you, breezed the making friends bit, have a HUGE family, loads of friends with babies and am a pretty sociable person. Have I felt lonely? Absolutely. It’s a strange one – but even being in a room full of people, i think it’s possible to still feel isolated as a new Mother – maybe it’s to do with coming to terms with the sole responsibility (and the lack of sleep!). Thanks so much for sharing with #coolmumclub
    MMT recently posted…#coolmumclub Linky week 51; The Christmas party!My Profile

    • Since writing this I have learnt just how lonely people can get even surrounded by the best people. It is a strange one and perhaps not something anyone can do about it. Being a new mum is a lot to get your head around! Thanks for hosting x

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