24 Comments

  1. I loved reading this. There is so much unnecessary emphasis put on routine and structure and while it absolutely works for some, I think it’s important that parents who choose to ‘go with the flow’ should feel OK about doing that too. I found it impossible to even think about routine when mine were very small – breastfeeding on demand isn’t conducive to routine! LOl. So we winged it and had very a loose approach to naps, etc. One of my best friends was the opposite. She and her baby were at their most content when they had a rigid routine. It worked beautifully for them. I think that’s the key, isn’t it? Just do what works for you and your baby.

    • Absolutely – do what works best for you! I agree that routine has it’s place for some people, and indeed now Alfie is older, we can see that he responds better to routine. But I don’t think there should be so much emphasis on it if it doesn’t work for you, so I completely agree with you on that one! Thanks for reading 🙂

  2. This was something I battled with in the beginning. It’s so hard to know what you think when your thoughts are being drowned out by so many other voices telling you what to do and what is best and making you feel clueless. We eventually went for a loose routine and breastfeeding on demand. Now it’s still a bit tricky as I’m on a totally different schedule to all my friends (my little one goes to sleep quite late and wakes up quite late), but it suits my family perfectly so we won’t be changing 😉 #MarvMondays

    • Yes exactly this! I had what felt like everyone telling me to get into a routine. It just didn’t work, and once I’d realised that, I felt so much happier. I do find that all babies are different, so when meeting friends there would always be one baby fast sleep (not mine) and one baby causing mayhem because they wouldn’t nap (usually mine!) But it worked for us and I’d definitely go with a no routine approach next time round. Thanks for reading x

  3. Fantastic post. I found with Noah just like you I thought he had to have a routine, so badly and quickly realised it wasn’t working no matter how hard I tried. Second time around, I’ve been so much more relaxed and P has worked out his own, which (thank goodness) is working well. I couldn’t agree more with doing what works for you, such a great post.

    Emily – BabiesandBeauty #marvmondays

    • It is so stressful isn’t it trying to fit around a routine that clearly isn’t working. I find that it’s something everyone really goes on about, but clearly doesn’t work for everyone. I can imagine once you’re on your second baby, you learn to trust your instincts a bit more! Thanks for reading 🙂

  4. It is funny as all 3 of mine have been so different. Gracie had no routine, Lils was like clockwork and I cannot quite work out what William is doing but we are just happy bumbling along as we are at the moment. x #MarvMondays

    • Your comment just goes to show how every child is different – our next one might respond so much better to routine. I can already tell Alfie is like his dad who tends to go with the flow anyway, so I can see why he’s like he is! Thanks for reading x

  5. Well done! It was same for us, the routine just came on its own. It’s so much easier when you’re not stressed all the time, worrying what others say or think or do..Every child is different, every mother is different, why should routines be the same?:)
    #bestandworst

  6. Great post hun – all babies are different I think. My daughter NEVER had a breastfeeding routine until she weaned. She fed all over the shop. Her naps in the day were the same. We did manage more of a nightime routine which was brill for us and our sleep. I’m going more with the flow with my second and some patterns are emerging but not many!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst
    Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap recently posted…Best and Worst Week #71My Profile

  7. Great post. There are so many pressures put on parents (mostly by ourselves) and it can be hard when the ‘normal advice’ doesn’t work for us, we feel we must be doing something wrong. Personally we found routines worked brilliantly (although we’ve never been too rigid), but the routine with each child was slightly different to take into account the oldest being at school and having to drop off and pick him up. Every child, every parent and every daily life situation is different, what works for one could be a nightmare for another. We all just need to find whatever works for us and our children, if something doesn’t work, change it. There is no one size fits all when it comes to parenting. It’s great then when you let go and went with the flow everything started to settle into its own form of routine x
    #Bestandworst

    • Definitely true that what works for one doesn’t work for everyone. I know so many people that couldn’t get on without a routine so it was an alien concept when we failed to implement one! Thanks for stopping by x

  8. Weirdly routine worked really well for both of my boys as babies, I know it didn’t for a lot of my friends’ babies though, so often I think it depends on the babies themselves. Some suit a routine and some really don’t. Mne also slept through really early on which I know definitely isn’t the norm ha so I think they were abnormal full stop though 😉 They got my heavy sleeper genes.

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x
    A Cornish Mum recently posted…Review: LiveLean 82 Piece Meat Hamper GiveawayMy Profile

  9. I can completely relate to this. Our first was exactly the same. Despite trying to get her into a routine, they just didnt work for her and still dont. So I decided like you to go with the flow it was so much easier once I did. I had a very similar experience to you with Alfie. Second time round though couldnt be more different. Our little guy thrives on routine and has pretty much set his own one. Its quite nice, although I have very much taken a similar baby led approach and its worked out just as well. So I’ve come to the conclusion over the last few weeks that it comes down to the individual baby as opposed to what we do as parents 🙂 Great post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

    • It’s so interesting to hear different people’s views – a lot more people ditch the routine than I thought! Although I have heard that second babies are generally easier to put in a routine if that’s what works for you. Thanks for hosting 🙂

  10. Brilliant post – I read this way before you linked it up and couldn’t agree more. I always used to beat myself up over not being able to nail the routine when Emma was young. Now I cut myself a little slack, which suits me much better. I say do what’s right for you and your family! Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam xx
    Bridie By The Sea recently posted…#DreamTeam #27My Profile

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