1. It really makes me feel sad that you feel sad about it all. You did what was best for you both at the time, and if I was talking about switching from breastfeeding to formula, your advice would be that that’s exactly what I did too, so don’t beat yourself up. I was the opposite, I made a very vague birth plan because I just didn’t think it would be stuck to. I didn’t get my water birth either because my waters broke, so even though I had a relatively natural birth with just gas and air, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. In the end, I was mostly pleased that they stuck to the delayed cord clamping, Mr Lighty cutting the cord and also Mr Lighty telling me what sex the baby was. I would highly recommend the NCT for taking women through all their options including induction, pain relief and c-sections xxx

    • I know it’s silly I feel sad, but even though I do feel like that, I do know it was the best decision. So glad to hear the NCT discuss induction and c-sections with you – in our NHS class we were told not to have an induction and that c-sections were so rare, it wasn’t worth discussing! At the time I was of the belief that positive mental attitude would get me my natural birth so I didn’t worry about anything else! But I am glad I had a birth plan, as I think if I hadn’t been induced, I would have followed it to the letter (it’s the planner in me, I have to have a plan!)

      • It’s not silly, you can’t help how you feel. I was surprised how thorough the NCT were, as traditionally they have a reputation about being all about the natural, but that wasn’t the case with our classes at all. Also, our teacher told us, it doesn’t matter if you have a completely natural birth, no pain relief, every drug going or a c-section, there are no medals given out for one type of birth or the other xxx

        • So true that you don’t get a medal for giving birth (you totally should though, bet it’s harder than running a marathon and you get a medal for that!!) The thing I dislike the most is the negative words associated with my birth – I had a FAILED induction because I FAILED to dilated. I also hate the term natural birth – because does that mean then I had an unnatural birth?! I can definitely see why people get down about caesareans when they’re not often spoken about in a positive light. Just writing that actually has shown me that I should be more positive about my birth because there’s nothing to be ashamed about!

          • Ah I know what you mean. There are so many things though in motherhood that can make us feel like we’re failing, when actually we are doing a bloody good job! You did amazingly well, you had possible pre-eclampsia, you had no time to prepare for being admitted to the hospital , you went along with what was best for Alfie even though it wasn’t really what you wanted, you went through hours and hours of labour, then had major surgery, then you had to recover from major surgery with a baby to look after; if that’s not something to be proud of, I don’t know what is!! Xxx

  2. Not having the birth you planned can end up giving you some unexpected bitter emotions, I know. I hope you get some of the things you want next time around!. I always have to be induced as I am diabetic in pregnancy but they have been positive experiences for me both times. #justanotherlinky

  3. It’s so sad that most birth plans never really go to plan isn’t it. I am hoping for a few different things this time round.
    Thank you so much for linking up to #justanotherlinky

    • It is, I think part of the problem is as a first time mum, you don’t k ow what to expect, so kind of do as you’re told. Next time I’m certainly more informed so am hoping I can keep more in control.

  4. I can totally relate with this. My first birth didn’t go to plan and I was rushed with blue lights to a larger hospital to go into theatre. So with my second I was told I had to be at a larger hospital but I was able to try fit a water birth. That didn’t happen. I now know there really is no planning for birth. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    • I am hoping for a water birth with my next, but I’ll likely be high risk. I was trying to research what I can and can’t do after a emcs but actually found it’s too soon and has made me super emotional about it. So I’m going to wait until I’m actually pregnant before making any decisions! Thanks for reading 🙂

  5. Robyn - The Years Are Short blog

    I didn’t have a birth plan for my first (and only, so far). We lived three hours from the nearest major hospital, or had the option of birthing at a local maternity unit if there were no complications and I was able to manage without pain relief. Because our baby was prem we were sent to the big hospital and he ended up being born on the side of the road on the way there. There were lots of things I’d do differently in hindsight to ensure he’d been born in a safer environment, but having a birth plan wouldn’t have changed how things worked out. I likely won’t bother to do one with no. 2 either (fingers crossed on that!), I just don’t really think it’s something you can plan for. It’s terrific that you were so well-educated during your pregnancy and confidently knew what you wanted, I’m sorry to hear that it didn’t work out as you hoped. It’s a shame that those feelings of disappointment crept in after the initial relief and happiness of bringing your baby safely into the world. I still believe that if mother and baby manage the miracle of childbirth together then that’s a job well-done, regardless of the specifics 🙂

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